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Star Trekkin' Voyager
Star Trekkin' far away from home,
On the Starship Voyager, under Janeway.
Star Trekkin' far away from home,
Boldly keep on going, 'cause we are lost again.
Captain Kathryn Janeway
JANEWAY: I'm your CO, I'm a captain, I'm a captain, I'm a captain;
I'm your CO, I'm your captain, I'm your captain, that's 'bout it.
Chakotay, report please!
CHAKOTAY: My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, had a saying;
My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, oh, how'd it go?
JANEWAY: We cannot win, self-destruct, self-destruct, self-destruct;
We cannot win, self-destruct, self-destruct, too late!
Star Trekkin' far away from home,
On the Starship Voyager, under Janeway.
Star Trekkin' far away from home,
Boldly keep on going, 'cause we are lost again.
Medical update, doctor what's-your-name
HOLODOC: Please state the nature of your problem, of your problem, Of your problem;
Please state the nature of your problem, unless it's Janeway's voice.
CHAKOTAY: My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, had a saying;
My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, oh, how'd it go?
JANEWAY: We cannot win, self-destruct, self-destruct, self-destruct;
We cannot win, self-destruct, self-destruct, too late!
Kim, analysis
KIM: Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, my first mission;
Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, I don't know.
HOLODOC: Please state the nature of your problem, of your problem, Of your problem;
Please state the nature of your problem, unless it's Janeway's voice.
CHAKOTAY: My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, had a saying;
My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, oh, how'd it go?
JANEWAY: We cannot win, self-destruct, self-destruct, self-destruct;
We cannot win, self-destruct, self-destruct, too late!
Lt. Paris, report please
PARIS: I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, sleep with me;
I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, Torres!
KIM: Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, my first mission;
Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, I don't know.
HOLODOC: Please state the nature of your problem, of your problem, Of your problem;
Please state the nature of your problem, unless it's Janeway's voice.
CHAKOTAY: My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, had a saying;
My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, oh, how'd it go?
JANEWAY: We cannot win, self-destruct, self-destruct, self-destruct;
We cannot win, self-destruct, self-destruct, too late!
Neelix, what is that?
NEELIX: That's an anomaly, we can't go in, can't go in, can't go in;
That's an anomaly, we can't go in, are you trying to get us killed?
PARIS: I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, sleep with me;
I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, Torres!
KIM: Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, my first mission;
Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, I don't know.
HOLODOC: Please state the nature of your problem, of your problem, of your problem;
Please state the nature of your problem, unless it's Janeway's voice.
CHAKOTAY: My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, had a saying;
My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, oh, how'd it go?
JANEWAY We must uphold the prime directive, prime directive, prime directive;
We must uphold the prime directive, so we'll never get back home.
Kes, what do they want?
KES: I am not Deanna Troi, Deanna Troi, Deanna Troi;
I am not Deanna Troi, my man's uglier!
NEELIX: That's an anomaly, we can't go in, can't go in, can't go in;
That's an anomaly, we can't go in, are you trying to get us killed?
PARIS: I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, sleep with me;
I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, Torres!
KIM: Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, my first mission;
Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, I don't know.
HOLODOC: Why didn't someone tell me, someone tell me, someone tell me;
Why didn't someone tell me, someone tell me, huh?
CHAKOTAY: My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, had a saying;
My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, oh, how'd it go?
JANEWAY: We must uphold the prime directive, prime directive, prime directive;
We must uphold the prime directive, so we'll never get back home.
Security report, Mr. Tuvok TUVOK:
I'm a Vulcan, I have logic, I have logic, I have logic;
I'm a Vulcan, I have logic, so why do I go mad so much?
KES: I am not Deanna Troi, Deanna Troi, Deanna Troi;
I am not Deanna Troi, my man's uglier!
NEELIX: Here, have some leola root, some leola root, some leola root;
Here, have some leola root, why are you gagging like that?
PARIS: I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, sleep with me;
I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, Torres!
KIM: Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, my first mission;
Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, I don't know.
HOLODOC: Why didn't someone tell me, someone tell me, someone tell me;
Why didn't someone tell me, someone tell me, huh?
CHAKOTAY: My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, had a saying;
My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, oh, how'd it go?
JANEWAY: We must uphold the prime directive, prime directive, prime directive;
We must uphold the prime directive, so we'll never get back home.
Engineering report, Lt. Torres
TORRES: To hell with Starfleet's sets of rules, sets of rules, sets of rules;
To hell with Starfleet's sets of rules, sets of rules again...
TUVOK: I'm a Vulcan, I have logic, I have logic, I have logic;
I'm a Vulcan, I have logic, so why do I go mad so much?
KES: I am not Deanna Troi, Deanna Troi, Deanna Troi;
I am not Deanna Troi, my man's uglier!
NEELIX: Here, have some leola root, some leola root, some leola root;
Here, have some leola root, why are you gagging like that?
PARIS: I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, sleep with me;
I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, Torres!
KIM: Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, my first mission;
Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, I don't know.
HOLODOC: Why didn't someone tell me, someone tell me, someone tell me;
Why didn't someone tell me, someone tell me, huh?
CHAKOTAY: My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, had a saying;
My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, oh, how'd it go?
JANEWAY: We must uphold the prime directive, prime directive, prime directive;
We must uphold the prime directive, so we'll never get back home.
Suder? Are you still here?
SUDER: I used to kill people, I'm at peace now, I'm at peace now, I'm at peace now;
I used to kill people, I'm at peace now, I'm at peace now, now I'm dead.
TORRES: To hell with Starfleet's sets of rules, sets of rules, sets of rules;
To hell with Starfleet's sets of rules, sets of rules again...
TUVOK: I'm a Vulcan, I have logic, I have logic, I have logic;
I'm a Vulcan, I have logic, So why do I go mad so much?
KES: I am not Deanna Troi, Deanna Troi, Deanna Troi;
I am not Deanna Troi, my man's uglier!
NEELIX: Here, have some leola root, some leola root, some leola root;
Here, have some leola root, why are you gagging like that?
PARIS: I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, sleep with me;
I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, Torres!
KIM: Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, my first mission;
Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, I don't know.
HOLODOC: Why didn't someone tell me, someone tell me, someone tell me;
Why didn't someone tell me, someone tell me, huh?
CHAKOTAY: My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, had a saying;
My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, oh, how'd it go?
JANEWAY: We must uphold the prime directive, prime directive, prime directive;
We must uphold the prime directive, so we'll never get back home.
Star Trekkin' far away from home,
On the Starship Voyager, under Janeway.
Star Trekkin' far away from home,
Boldly keep on going, 'cause we are lost again.
Vorik, calm down please
VORIK: I want Torres, I'm in Pon Farr, I'm in Pon Farr, I'm in Pon Farr,
I want Torres, I'm in Pon Farr, I'm going to kill you.
SUDER: I used to kill people, I'm at peace now, I'm at peace now, I'm at peace now;
I used to kill people, I'm at peace now, I'm at peace now, now I'm dead.
TORRES: To hell with Starfleet's sets of rules, sets of rules, sets of rules;
To hell with Starfleet's sets of rules, sets of rules again...
TUVOK: I'm a Vulcan, I have logic, I have logic, I have logic;
I'm a Vulcan, I have logic, so why do I go mad so much?
KES: I am not Deanna Troi, Deanna Troi, Deanna Troi;
I am not Deanna Troi, my man's uglier!
NEELIX: Here, have some leola root, some leola root, some leola root;
Here, have some leola root, why are you gagging like that?
PARIS: I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, sleep with me;
I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, Torres!
KIM: Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, my first mission;
Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, I don't know.
HOLODOC: Why didn't someone tell me, someone tell me, someone tell me;
Why didn't someone tell me, someone tell me, huh?
CHAKOTAY: My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, had a saying;
My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, oh, how'd it go?
JANEWAY: We must uphold the prime directive, prime directive, prime directive;
We must uphold the prime directive, so we'll never get back home.
Paris: Kazon ships appearing!
Kim: 5 cubes on long range sensors, closing fast on us.
Boom
Tuvok: Hull breach in 15 seconds.
Janeway: All hands ready, I'm going to push the reset button!
Aaaahahhhh....
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Star Trekkin' far away from home,
On the Starship Voyager, under Janeway.
Star Trekkin' far away from home,
Boldly keep on going, 'cause we are lost again.
***Additions for Voyager version:***
SEVEN OF NINE: Inefficient, we are Borg, we are Borg, we are Borg;
Inefficient, we are Borg, don't you like my implants?!
OR
SEVEN OF NINE: Inefficient, we are Borg, we are Borg, we are Borg;
Inefficient, we are Borg, I'm way more hot than Kes
OR
SEVEN OF NINE: Inefficient, we are Borg, we are Borg, we are Borg;
Inefficient, we are Borg, you're so damned inefficient
OR
SEVEN OF NINE: Inefficient, we are Borg, we are Borg, we are Borg;
Inefficient, we are Borg, Doctor, get away
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